Creative Writing Journal #3

Today in class we were given the assignment to write constantly for 15 minutes. Below is my stream of consciousness response to the prompt. (warning not all the leaps are logical words may be linked by some inside jokes or by stuff that happened in class, also there is no real method to punctuation this is exactly as I wrote it on the page)

Stream of consciousness river stream water anything wet slugs bullets are slugs connections odd 15 minutes thats a long time why do I connect these things together questions lots lots and lots, how come, life the universe everything 42, numbers math calculus algebra trig. triangles Julien quotes 10th grade "It cant be a triangle it only has 3 sides" Anne Gloag Romania Numa Numa, meme, pedobear panda bear Julien hates, zoo, animals food cow chicken pig bacon, magic wizard people dear reader, hagar, hardcastle Mc Cormic , Brad Neely, Sodom and Gamora salt, salted pork, lord of the rings, mordor sauron, elves, silmirilian, books, artemis fowl fairies, tinkerbell, disney, pixar, toystory, childhood amazing nemo, cars, bugs life, wall-e, up, up up and away weeeeeeeee, wii wii would like to play advertising. Superbowl commercials Saints, Catholicism, pope, eddie izzard Henry the 8th, psychotic bastard religion. Noah, ark, blank blank blank indiana jones nazis, face melting, God, bananas, tasty, potassium, Kazakhstan, Borat, bad movies, twilight, gag me, sparklepire, edward, middle name Jeb, cool name, John common, gnats, angry ticks, anus is bleeding, don hertzfeld, memes again repeating myself why, out of ideas? no just repeating something new.... blank tokamac, fusion, starwars bad screenplay epic, R2D2, C3PO, HK47, meatbags! droid, android, google, drone, me, voice, email, talk, docs, sites, checkout. money I hate stopping to put money back in my wallet I feel like I'm blocking the next person. pockets, lord of the rings, hobbit repeating again... blank blank cramp, arm hurts ouch writers cramp sucks ledgible? can someone else read this. I can its sloppier than normal b/c my hand hears. abbreviations w/o w/ note taking. that hurts too. blank. coding, C/C++ increment decrement electronics board driver station, IO board cypress documentation rorshach, watchmen comics, Dilbert, sneeze gesundheit German nazis indiana jones repeating, pi, phi, e irrational sqrt(2)...

Thats the end of 15 minutes of constant thought. I may post an annotated version to explain how I made each leap to a new topic later.

Creative Writing Journal #2

For this creative writing journal our prompt was to take this picture:

and using only the information that the dogs name is Barder and that the orange turban gives him the power of flight, to write a story. Here is my story.

The Orange Avenger

It was a cold dark night in Toronto. Barder and his master The Orange Avenger surveyed the calm Canadian metropolis. They weren't your average superheros for one thing they got all their powers from a magical orange turban, also they were Canadian. For superheros they also didn't do much crime fighting. A calm breeze drifted past where Barder and The Orange Avenger were perched. Barder smelled something, his canine senses detected gunpowder residue. He barked loudly and pointed like a basset hound. The Orange Avenger lept onto his back and they were off, flying at nearly Mach 12 the arrived at the crime scene in the blink of an eye. The Orange Avenger dismounted and stared at the two criminals as menacingly as a midget wearing a bright orange turban can. Another American The Orange Avenger thought, bacon was the only thing going through Barders mind. The crooks shot at The Orange Avenger but he dove out of the way with his lightning reflexes. Barder suddenly snapped out of his bacon daze and realized what was happening. He flew at the first crook knocking him through three brick walls, the crook was out for the count. Barder, feeling rather pleased with himself turned towards the other crook who, in a fit of incontinence, soiled himself and ran away. The Orange Avenger came over to Barter and handed him a dog chocolate. The Orange avenger tied up the nearly dead crook. They took off, their shockwave shattering windows for 3 city blocks. Once safely up in the ionosphere The Orange Avenger summoned his secret flying cave of justice with a whistle mildly reminiscent of the Mario theme. Inside the cave was an advanced network of computers constantly scanning for crime, and ironically torrenting several movies. The Orange Avenger took off his mighty turban of justice and set it on the bronze sculpture of his own head "Damn." he thought " I look sexy." On the other side of the cave Barder had turned from his German shepherd esk physique back into a Pomeranian. Both The Orange Avenger and Barder snuggled into their respective beds. The next morning the mail arrived via teleport pad. Among the pizza bills, ads, and warnings from the Canadian copyright authority was a court summons. The Orange Avenger was baffled, "Why would the want me in court?" Ever the good citizen The Orange Avenger donned his turban of power and he and Barder flew down to court. Upon arriving at court the media began to swarm him with questions which he dodged like someones thrown shoe. He entered the courtroom. The judge stood up. "Orange Avenger you have been summoned because you are a menace to society. You have caused over 300 million dollars in property damage over the past year and have cause two deaths due to chronic stress induced incontinence. I hereby request you turn in your turban..."

This is as far as I got during class I will post the end of the story when I finish writing.

Creative Writing Journal #1

Today our gave us the assignment of taking a photo from Bill Sullivan's Turnstile Photography Project and writing a story about one of the people in the images. We had to create a character based only on the persons facial expression and what they were holding. Here is the person I chose and my story:

Richard Weston is an average old man. His day starts promptly at 6:42 three minutes before his alarm goes off. He descends the stairs and turns right to enter the kitchen. One bowl of raisin bran and one and a half glasses of orange juice later he ascends the stairs to take a shower. 5 minutes at 98.7 degrees F. Today he decides to wear a golden brown blazer, yellow striped tie, and brown pants. He shuffles over to the bathroom mirror and stares blankly at his reflection. He brushes his teeth and hair and again descends the stairs. He scowls as he sees his favorite fedora lying on the floor. With a slightly annoyed attitude he picks up his fedora brushes it off and puts it on his head. He checks the house turning off all the lights and heads out the front door. Today he heads right, towards the subway station on fourth. He walks down the street at a pace just slower than your average walk. Busy pedestrians bustle around him rushing to and from various appointments. One biker yells out at Richard as he narrowly avoids him. Richard turns into a small liquor store and buys some antacid tablets which he stows hastily in his pocket along with the change. He continues towards the subway station grumbling when he comes to an intersection where he has to wait for the light to change. He descends into the subway station and fumbles to get his wallet out. He sighs heavily as he passes through the turnstile. He boards the A train headed west. After two transfers he exits the subway. He follows street traffic as he exits the subway. After three blocks he turns right into a large brick building with a large friendly red door. Inside he gazes up at the large glass chandelier that illuminates the room. As he looks down a small group of people come over and begin to shake his hand and exchange casual greetings. He enters with them into a large ballroom with many seats set up. He notices the podium at the front of the room and sighs again. A man stands at the podium and all the people in the room sit down and listen. The man talks for a while and then calls Richards name. Richard heads up to the podium where the man hands him a certificate and a small black box. The audience stands and gives applause. Richard returns to his seat. After a long while the man finishes talking and the people are shown to another room where food and drinks are set up on tables. The people mingle and some come up to Richard and talk with him. The give him congratulatory pats on the back and shake his hand. When the mingling ends Richard heads back out onto the street. He follows the same path home. He arrives at his door and enters his house. He sets his hat on the hook next to the door and sits down at the kitchen table. He reads over the certificate and opens the small box to see its contents. He sighs heavily. After a while he leaves the certificate and box open on the table and heads up stairs. He takes off his suit, brushes his teeth, and again stares blankly at his reflection. He gets in bed, sets his alarm for 6:45, turns out the light and falls asleep. Downstairs on the table the moonlight illuminates the text on the certificate: "For extraordinary bravery and service beyond the call of duty we the people of the United States of America present Richard Weston with this medal of honor." beside the certificate the moonlight reflects off the small bronze medal sitting in the small black case. The next day at exactly 6:42 three minutes before his alarm goes off Richard gets up, prepares for the day, puts on his hat, and heads out the door. Today he turns left, heading for the bingo house.

If I were a ruler with absolute power what would my country look like?

If I had absolute power I would set up a puppet democracy. I would do this so that the people would feel like they have power, but don't. Also if the people get fed up with the government I can stage a military coup and reorganize the puppet government. I would fake my own death to kill any puppet government conspiracy theories. My people wouldn't be too restricted but through propaganda and carefully planned government holidays the people would learn to love their countries "late" founder. I would only allow white collar jobs to be preformed by government approved workers (to prevent greedy CEO's from taking lots of money) and I would mandate that companies use local factories so everyone has a job. I would mandate that streets and houses look clean and presentable, this facade will keep nosy tourists from realizing there is one supreme dictator controlling the country. CCTV will be set up like in Britain. If anything goes wrong I will fake a nuclear attack on my own country and declare war on some small unloved nation to a) grow my empire and b) rally my people around a common cause. I would have scientists build me an orbiting palace/attack platform/space station and if ever threatened by a large enough power I would retreat there and rain missiles down on my enemies. Also if I ever take over the world I will rule from there.

Hello World!

Hello,

Welcome to my Government class Blog. I'll be posting more assignments and writings as the semester progresses.